Review: Where She Went (If I Stay #2) by Gayle Forman

Date Read: December 25 - 26 2012

Release Date: November 4^th 2010

Publisher: Definitions

Source: Bought
Genre: Contemporary

My rating:  (Not enough stars)

Synopsis:
“It's been three years since the devastating accident . . . three years since Mia walked out of Adam's life forever.

Now living on opposite coasts, Mia is Juilliard's rising star and Adam is LA tabloid fodder, thanks to his new rock star status and celebrity girlfriend. When Adam gets stuck in New York by himself, chance brings the couple together again, for one last night. As they explore the city that has become Mia's home, Adam and Mia revisit the past and open their hearts to the future-and each other.

Told from Adam's point of view in the spare, lyrical prose that defined If I Stay, Where She Went explores the devastation of grief, the promise of new hope, and the flame of rekindled romance.”

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“Instead of dropping me like a one-night stand, you could’ve had the decency to break up with me instead of leaving me wondering for three years…"

I actually liked Where She Went even more than If I Stay! Gayle just has this way with words (I know, I keep saying that) that manages to bring out all these emotions in me. I thought If I Stay was a hard review to write, but Where She Went has taken me over 2 days! Ah but so worthwhile :D

Along with Mia’s absence, we see what fame has really done to Adam – despite being a famous rock star and essentially achieving his dream, Adam is a wreck. He’s paranoid, emotionally distant and music is a chore for him. Seeing him like that made my heart ache so much. And yet I couldn’t hate Mia or blame her for any of that. Anybody that’s read If I Stay will remember the fateful words Adam spoke to Mia.

“I'd make that promise a thousand times over and lose her a thousand times over to have heard her play last night or to see her in the morning sunlight. Or even without that. Just to know that she's somewhere out there. Alive.”

For me, reading Adam’s voice was more painful than Mia’s in If I Stay despite how bleak If I Stay was. As Adam and Mia spent their night in New York together, Adam’s thoughts were plagued by his memories of three years ago but especially the question of why Mia left. Each thought is filled with this pain and longing and left me wondering how a love like theirs couldn’t withstand everything. But I think that’s the amazing thing about Gayle’s stories – she doesn’t sugar coat anything; it’s reality.

“There are so many things that demand to be said. Where did you go? Do you ever think about me? You've ruined me. Are you okay? But of course, I can't say any of that.”

Following the brilliant structure of If I Stay, Gayle utilises the flashbacks to take us back to those three years Adam went without Mia, but more importantly, those two years he did spend with her. For all of Mia’s insecurities, we see Adam’s love and devotion to her. The flashbacks build up to the bittersweet present and the confusion both feel at having come together on such a (fateful?) night after so long. Music also played a big part in this book. Using lyrics at the beginning of a chapter to imply or foreshadow events isn’t uncommon. But getting those lyrics right is another thing completely. Gayle did the amazing job of writing her own lyrics based on Adam’s band and ohmygoodness were they meaningful! The way everything is layered so that when you peel them back you’re left in awe of what each layer means and how it all comes together, retaining the whole text’s integrity? Yup, this is one mind-blown reader.

I didn’t think it was possible to FEEL so much – both him and me (as the reader). I felt everything that Adam felt: his anger, his grief, his angst and his heartbreak. His actions over the past three years as a result of these emotions were definitely questionable but I could never be annoyed with anything he did. The character building was simply superb.

“And it’s like, Mia, don’t you get it? The music is the void. And you’re the reason why.”

Reading Where She Went made me believe that true love exists.

But do second chances? READ AND FIND OUT ;D

“You don’t share me. You own me.”

Review: If I Stay (If I Stay #1) by Gayle Forman

Date Read: December 20 - 25 2012

Release Date: January 1st 2009

Publisher: Definitions

Source: Bought
Genre: Contemporary

My rating: 

Synopsis:
"In a single moment, everything changes. Seventeen-year-old Mia has no memory of the accident; she can only recall riding along the snow-wet Oregon road with her family. Then, in a blink, she finds herself watching as her own damaged body is taken from the wreck...

A sophisticated, layered, and heart-achingly beautiful story about the power of family and friends, the choices we all make, and the ultimate choice Mia commands"

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"It's all just a matter of time, and part of me wonders why I'm delaying the inevitable."

Definitely one of the most moving books I've ever read, Gayle Forman writes a bittersweet tale about life, death and making choices. I sobbed, I laughed and I hoped beyond hope that Mia would stay.

I've been putting this review off for so long because I didn't know how to write it. Consequently, I haven't done my review for Where She Went  (the sequel) yet either because I felt like I had to review if I Stay first D: This was possibly one of the hardest reviews to write because I felt so much sadness and hope reading this and I just didn't know how to form all my emotions and thoughts in to words.

Gayle Forman really has a way with words. The voice she creates for Mia is intelligent, mature and so full of love I was hooked on the first page.

"My dad smiles and taps on his pipe… He also wears bow ties. I am never quite clear on whether all this is sartorial or sardonic."

Within the first 3 pages, Gayle has shown (not told) that Mia's family is a close one. Her ex-punker dad now turned middle-school teacher, her ex-punker mum who now works at a travel agent, her younger brother Teddy who is 8 and lives high off coffee, and 17 year old Mia herself, are all connected by their love of music. Their family is a happy one: Mia teases her adorable, hyper younger brother and her parents joke around and are extremely lenient due to their rock days.

"Dad and I guffaw at the same time. Mom makes cereal and toast. Dad's the cook in the family."

You might be thinking "ok why is Jaz telling me this? Doesn't this spoil the story? What is the point of this?" Well for those of you who haven't read this, you'd find it out in the first 2-3 pages anyway so it's no spoiler. Why am I telling you this and what's the point? The point is to (try) and establish the warmth that is Mia's family. They're not perfect, but they're honest and love each other. And this is what made If I Stay so painful. Because that one car crash tore Mia's whole family apart.

Stuck in a sort of limbo, Mia watches as  they take her ruined body from the wreck, operate on her  and watches as she fights for her own life. But the question is, should she bother fighting?

The course of the novel is a series of flashbacks. As each event occurs in the present (an operation, a visit from a family member, a visit from her friend and boyfriend), a flashback ensues. This was the most beautiful thing about the book - the way Gayle structured everything. Each present event is LINKED to a flashback. For example, when her best friend Kim comes to visit for the first time, Mia remembers how she and Kim met. Or when Teddy is brought up, she remembers the day he was born. The structure was absolute perfection. As we watch the chronological clock wind in the present, Mia has built us a picture of her entire life - family, friends, boyfriend, musical life. And the great thing? Not once was I confused about the present or the past. Everything is defined so clearly and yet it flowed so wonderfully - absolutely seamless.

"How is he [Adam] going to know that I'm actually early? That I got to Portland this morning while the snow was still melting? [About the accident]

*

'Have you ever heard of this Yo-Yo Made dude?' Adam asked me. It was the spring of my sophomore year, which was his junior year."

See how Gayle has made it so that while Mia worries about Adam not knowing she was in an accident, she flashes back to their first meeting? I KNOW RIGHT IT'S AMAZING AND I WAS JUST MINDBLOWN AT HOW SIMPLE YET FLUID THIS WAS!!!

The flashbacks are all so meaningful, each one a funny friendship or family moment, a nervous touch, a declaration of love.

And ah the romance! So bittersweet and full of love. My heart went out to Adam…

"Adam is crying and somewhere inside of me, I am crying too…" ohgoodness I'M CRYING TOO MIA.

But the whole point of the flashbacks? To show what Mia had, what she has lost, what she still has left and ultimately, is it worth it for her to stay?

I can't remember how many tissues I used up reading this… DON'T READ IN PUBLIC I TELL YOU!

"If you stay, I'll do whatever you want... But if you need me to go away, I'll do that, too… And that would suck, but I'd do it. I can lose you like that if I don't lose you today. I'll let you go. If you stay."